I quit drinking for 30 days and look what happened

Photo by Matthew Henry from Burst

Have you quit drinking for 30 days? When I got back from our trip down south, I thought with all the booze I drank there, my body needs to detox. And the truth is, I drink a bit more than I need to. I drink a glass of wine with dinner, and another one after at least 2-3 nights a week. Then there’s volleyball or pickleball, we go out for a bite and a beer. Come on, you can’t tell me I’m the only one who is doing this. I know you are too, but…have you thought about quitting for good? Well, I am on the fence.

Here’s what’s happened since February 18, which is when I made the commitment.

Week 1 – Day 2 into no drinking for 30 days, I wanted a glass of wine. Not any, but a really good red wine, but I promised myself that I would do 30 days, so, I drank soda water. OK, the feeling subsided and I continued to watch TV.

By day 5, there was an event coming up and I thought I would change my plan to just drink on the weekend, but my man said something that hurt. He reminded me of the commitment I made and how he was disappointed I wasn’t sticking to my commitment. Damn it! He’s right. I started to find excuses to quit. I don’t want to be a quitter and I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. I want him to be proud of me! OK, I’ll keep going.

Week 2 – Now I’m really craving it. People at work are talking about going out, or about wine and how much they like it. FUCK…this is killing me. No Tina! You said you would do 30 days, so ignore the conversation.

I am sick of water, so I bought ginger ale. Well, I don’t think that’s going to be any better. while it may not be alcohol, I don’t want to be a pop drinker either. Fuck, why can’t I just drink water and be good with it!

I started to listen to a Podcast called Recovery Elevator with Paul Churchill. I like his voice and how he talks to you, and not at you. There’s one about cravings and well, you’ll need to listen to learn more.

Week 3 – this is it right now. I am at the end of week 3 and…I had a beer! A non-alcoholic beer, but I felt so guilty. I asked everyone at the table, is this cheating if I drink the non-alcoholic beer and they said no because…there’s no alcohol. So, I drank it, but it didn’t sit right with me. I know there wasn’t any alcohol, but the can made me feel like I was cheating:(

Oh and I forgot to tell you what else has happened. I am eating more because I’m bored. When I would have a glass of wine or a beer, I wasn’t hungry, now that’s all I’m doing.  I don’t want to go out because I don’t want to be tempted, but when I am at home, I am eating all kinds of junk! Fuck, what is wrong with me. Just stop.

 

12 days left! My last day of the event is March 20th. I can’t wait. I heard someone saying that quitting drinking was like being on a diet, and, they’re right. I feel like I’m being punished, but in fact, it’s not a punishment. It’s giving my brain and body a break. I chose to do this so why am I feeling like I’m being punished? Truth? I am doing it to see if I can actually quit drinking. I think drinking has become a habit and I don’t want it to be! I quit smoking 20 years ago because it was a bad habit, so why the fuck can’t I just quit drinking? Because Tina – you don’t want to. It’s true. I don’t want to quit drinking. I love the taste of champagne, of cabernet, red beer, and sometimes Cosmopolitan’s. So, if there are beverages out there that taste almost like these, please let me know.

The think I don’t like about drinking is how I feel after too many. I have a headache the next day, I feel dizzy, which is what I feel right now. I have Vertigo and it’s not fun at all. It’s been 2 months that I have it. It will eventually go away, but in the meantime, it feels like I am hung over.

Stay tuned for the end results of what happens after March 20th. If I take a drink or do I continue on this no drinking path.

As mentioned, if you know of non-alcoholic drinks that taste good and not too hard on the calories, please do share so that I can try them.

Have you tried quitting for 30 days? What happened to you? Please share in the comments below.

If you’re looking to quit or slow down because you might have a problem, I urge you to get help. Talk to your doctor, look online for alcoholics anonymous, listen to the Recovery Elevator podcast. Do something, anything, just keep trying.

 

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